And he bowed low. Fist clasped, close to his chest and eyes tight shut. If they could go any tighter, he would have shut them more. His breath steady and his mind focused. Not on the object of his supplication but ion the gravity of his offence. It was big enough. It is big enough. His eyes hurt as he clenched them tighter but he held them there. His fist tighter and his mind focused. Wishing his fingers could pierce his palm and hurt harder. The desire for penance was the only escape from his guilt. The audacity to work for his redemption.


He stared into her eyes and wondered what he could do different. Run? Cry? Look more remorseful? Let her go? Stand his ground? Apologies? Declare his love? His mind racing to find it in her eyes. The clue. He knew it was there. He searched harder. In his actions, all he thought about was the moment. How he had wronged her. How he has wronged her. With a seemingly loose action he knew was not the best. He sought in her, Redemption. One of a kind that will bring the peace back in his life. One she held.


He knew he was right. He knew he was wrong. He knew what mattered. He knew what was needed. He knew what he desired. He knew what they meant to him. And his heart heaved. Heaved from the weight of the idea that in all of his pride and the well established justification he possessed, there was little room for him in the region of redemption. Not by his effort or his grit, not in the remorse he modestly displayed. None of that paved the path for his redemption. His redemption lay solely be fore him. In the one, on whom his love lay.


His redemption was a gift he could never earn.


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