A herculean task

I see it fall below the horizon
Its gradual decent, though predictable, is still calming
Its shine is increasingly obscured from my sight
And like my desperation, it eases out of view
No longer will I rush under its glory
No longer will I hurry to meet daylight
The darkness of night has settled
And so is the end of desperation

Look how the heart fights to keep it alive
Look how it searches for a lifeline
Even in the face of demise
Even when the pain of the future snickers at the present
Even when the hearts longing has waned
Even when the bleakness of oblivion is well and alive
Even in such
The task of giving up seems insurmountable

I turned to the path that we left behind
There is soooo much of history we have disturbed
So many rocks turned on their head
We have left grooves in the earth that run deep
And in them, have I placed pieces of my heart
I think of the task to gather them up
To clear the earth of our trace
And my heart withers at it

Such a task is too much to bare
No arm, back, heart or soul can
And so I live with the dread
That in everyday forever
My look to yesterday will be tainted by you
And this heart will forever hold in its vault
A little, tiny, small, sliver of hope
Just a little one

The irrationality I bask in

Here is a gift
Precious from me to you
Here it is; hold it dearly
It is priceless, and a symbol of how dear you are to me
I love this gift dearly
But you, I love a lot more
Therefore I place this treasure with you
That my heart may be in one place

And as time flowed by
You have come to love this gift
Dearly

Today, my heart seeks to do one thing
My heart seeks one moment with this gift
I see you have come to love it
Love it very much
Love it a little more than I ever could
I though wish you let me hold it for a while
And in that while, I hope to do something
Do not be worried
It is safe with me
Remember, I first loved it
I wish, my dear, that you trust me with your gift

And of the actions I intend to take, I need your trust
I wish to set this gift on a long voyage
It will be safe. It will be well protected
it will never fall into wrong hands,
It will never become broken
I bid you to trust me with your gift
Let you heart look back to the days when it was mine and mine alone
I have not lost that love, neither have I forgotten that heart
It will be in safe hands
And my greatest assurance, I lay before you
Trust me with your gift

But I see the unease that envelopes you
And the fear makes you hold on to it much tighter
You fear loosing it

You love it so much
And of that, I understand
Though your trust of me is high; and of my protection, greater
You heart seems to hold harder to it
For you fear . . .
That fear of the sliver of possibility
That fear that is most rational
One born from the depth of a heart of love
A heart that dreads the loss of love
And from such a heart, lies the irrationality of trust
The irrationality to let go
Even in the face of assurance

How then does your heart dream of me letting go?
How do you dream, that I will allow risk befall you?
Even in the face of security
I too fall victim of this irrationality
Though I am certain that the day will come
One where you will be a distance from me
I still fight its imminent approach
In that as much as it lies with me
I will dwell in the irrationality
And of its tenets, build a fortress
This irrationality comforts me
It comforts me more of your safety
Than the truth of letting you wonder into the horizon
Or into the hand of another
Even another with love
Yes! I will hold you close
Just like you and the gift you hold ever so dearly
My dear!

I could also be wrong

I think hope should be indispensable
An ingrained part of us humans
It should a strong underlining cord that dwells in each of us
One that keeps us tethered to the future of desire
In a world where there is every reason to give up
One where some days seem like the world is angry with you
And then in a moment, it makes a switch;
Turning to a perfectly cloudy day
Sun shining and ice cream being gifted to you in the summer
Only for it to smack it out of your hand, and shower you with a thunder storm
Yes! In that world, things do go south
Success becomes a fiction more unreal than unicorns
And the hard cracking whip of pain is ever present
Perpetually stretched; ready to fire up you nerves
Yes! In that world
Where hunger ravages the most of us
While the rest of us feast on excesses
And turn our leftover into fun or food riots
A world where one man’s existence, lies with another
Where the survival of one, could depend on the convenience of another
In that world where luxury and survival are like two lovers on the same bed
Both sharing the company of the other
While not welcoming the other
Both spectators of the perils and privileges of the other
A world where our wars could feed us and more
But we rather watch the fireworks that emanate from the explosions
That world is the one where hope is indispensable

Hope needs to sip into the pores of that world
Saturate the mind of the strong
And the mighty, should drink endlessly of its cup
Hope needs to rise the sleepy in the morning
And the rested, should be put to sleep by it
Let hope turn this world around, flip it upside down
And finally set it back up
Because hope, is where we dream from
And only in such dreams, can a solution to be found
Hope is where faith resides and desires play
And only from hope, do our deepest instinct push us
Only from its fort, do our hearts move us forward

But hey, I could be wrong

I am swimming in my own ocean

Look how high these waves rise
Look at the shadow they cast
They blot out the sun from all men
Even the stars are washed away in their waters
Endlessly they run from horizon to horizon
Swimming faster than me; going where I know not
These waves are in my ocean
And I swimming in their path

Night-time has come to meet me
The waves have gone to sleep
And only the younger ones are awake
The ripples; they run all around me
They are the leftovers of my past
Watch them run fervently through my today
Never sleeping. Never resting
Perpetually reminding me of the splash I made yesterday

My ocean in large
Its banks are no where to be found
I have been swimming for years with no end
I have not laid there eyes on shore
I have searched deep and wide and still nothing
I cannot stop swimming. I dare not stop swimming
These waters are deep and treacherous
And its force is unforgiving

Welcome to my ocean
I see your life jacket is fastened
Welcome. Join me in this swim
Stretch your limbs and dive in with me
It is my pleasure to host you in this wide waters of mine
Do not let fear paralyse your limbs
They are your most priced tool
They will keep you alive in this ocean of mine

Here I am; swimming in my own ocean
No end in sight; neither do I know where I am from
There is no boat or lifejacket in sight
All I see is water; a vast amount of it
I am not terrified; I am not in despair
My arms are strong and steadfast
They will carry me to shore
Or till this waters all dry up

Tug the heart

Let that longing that pulls at your heart, not take you to despair
Do not let it pull you into misery
You know your heart is susceptible to its prompting
And its prompting is strong and relentless
It will lead you like a slave in its biddings
And when done, you will be left to desolation
None has climbed back the hill after a walk with it
They all still lie, wallowing in remorse

Let its tug, be forever gentle
And if it is not, then respond likewise
You should, no fool be, to the biddings of its pull
Your walk should be of your own volition
Then there would be honour in your steps
And your end of days will be thread on in pride
But only if your are cautious
Cautious of this ever present tug

Hold fast to its cord
Put in your pull, the ferocity of your soul
Do not give in to it
Look sternly into the eyes that lay beyond the horizon
It longs to empty your pedestal, and lead you far from it
So when you have roamed the earth in its wake
Your heart will rest; famished and empty
Such a fate, awaits the uncautious

But who am I to admonish you on your dealings with your heart?
How can I advice, that you respond appropriately?
Is not the heart a lord in and of itself?
It catches the beauty in the morning
And trades its soul by nightfall
Helpless, shameless, defenceless; it chases after love
Running though minefields and thorns
That it may be pummelled through the night and into sunrise

Is not love the only true desire of the heart?
And with those words, it guides itself into the pull
Forever to walk the earth in response to its heart

In the stream of compassion

Let hearts collide
Let them collide as they flow down this stream
Let the rattling break open their contents
Look! The stream is filled with sorrow
Traces of anxiety and tears are everywhere
No one can see the bottom of this stream again
Look! Its clarity has been marred with pain and depression
Let the hearts flow in this stream

Do not leave your heart on the bank
Let it flow in this stream
There, in the dark that encompasses, it will find company
It will find company in the mass of hearts
It will find company, for we all share in tears
It will find company, for the sorrow flows though us all
Do not leave your heart on the bank of the stream
Let it flow in this stream of hearts

I see the heart incorruptible, waiting down the side
I can see its warmth heating up the water bank
Flow in this stream with us
Fill our cold hearts with your warmth
The vile that dwells in us has kept cold
And the compassion we seek, it has chased out
Dive in with us, and share the risk of this cold
Be bold in the face the chance of being corrupted

Let he who has a heart of compassion cast it in this stream
Let him who’s heart is warm, toss it in this stream
And may our eyes see compassion and only then, learn from it
How can we live in it, when we have never felt it
Come, dive in with us
Let you heart collide with ours
And in that, we pray; may we learn of the warmth of compassion
And we hope; to bask in its blessedness

Come, dive in this stream with us
You heart of compassion

 

 

A simple life

I heard her say
“We have lost the beauty of a simple life”
And under that guise, this mind takes a stroll

Our hearts have wondered high
The wings of our dreams have rustle the earth around us
Now dust seems to cloud our vision
The debris of existence have all been swept into an uproar
This is confusing; this is distracting
Now our eyes tear up from the dust and chaos
Help me clear my sight
Please, give me some eye drops so I can see again
And while you are at that
Help me breath
For my lungs are burning
I need some air
I need an oxygen tank and a mask to keep me alive
Please get these to me on time, for I am choking
Please, set it up beside me
And also, help . . .
My clothes are stained and covered in dust
Help get it off me
I am a mess under this layer of dust
Help me with that, because my arms are busy
They are busy flapping these wings of my dreams
They are busy setting me up for a flight
Look how majestic they are
They will lift me up from this place
For this earth seeks to blind my eyes
It seeks to fill my lungs with dust
And it desperately wants to ruin my clothes
I will fly from here, to a place that is simple
A place devoid of all this chaos
A place where I can finally live
Where I can finally live a simple life

Come home

As the confetti settle
And the ringing in my ears subside
Now my vision returns; I am no longer blind
Calm down, calm down; my pulse, calm down
For the party is over
The celebrations has subsided
And reality has shown up in the form of life
Now I am privy to reasoning
And in that I am subdued by emotions
For the excitement, though only for a moment, masked my heart
And beneath that mask is a heart that longs for home

For working within every breath
Embedded in every smile and laughter
Even the most volatile of excitements
Lies the longing that strains every emotion
The beating of my heart remains out of sync with the present
It constantly thrums with the rhythm of another place
It persistently sways to the waltz of a place away from here
For though the night and day flow by
Though the pleasures, avail themselves
Through them all, this heart longs for home

For this desire is a constant
Inadvertently stretching from time to time
Undeterred and unfeather
Steadfast; it is tethered to this heart
Holding strong in the storm, rain, wind and celebration
That when all is done
When the night wakes to watch on me
When the silence is attentive to this heart
It listens to the deep longing for home
It listens to a desire for that which is far away
It peers into the heart that desperately awaits
And in it, it hears the longing for a call to come home

 

Moments

My mind was frozen on the smile
The delicate tenderness of her happiness
It was within grasp but I dared not touch it
Least I corrupted that which is beautiful
The world seemed to shine on her
And with brilliance, did she reflect its light
Maybe the perfection of her smile was what stopped my world
Maybe it was my rising pulse
For my heart desired to bask solely in the moment
In this moment where nothing else but that smile mattered

My mind froze on his smile
I looked up from his little feet to his face
His excitement poured down on me in breaths, smiles and light
For the first day of his new world was thrilling to him
My joy for him today, as always, continually rose
But my fears also camped in me
For his first day at school is a day from me
My heart sinks that he will be gone one day; soon
I wish to hold this moment
To lace his shoes again and again
To look up to my son, and bask in his excitement

And my shoulder hurt from his fist
Clenched tight, its collision sent a shriek of pain through my nerves
For my words were crude, and his response was rapid
All drowned out by laughter, so did boys play
That after decades of company, this should forever be pleasant
Pleasant past the filth we crawled through and rough endured
Such friendship should survive
Such a jolt may have sealed the moment within me
For I did dwell on it perpetually
I know it has been engrained in me
A forceful stamp that I do not reject

And I bid my heart to remember the time
Not by its structures or edifices
Not by the cost or the glimmer
But in the instances where you smile
In the seconds where I am baptized in your excitement
In the time where my heart leaps for your joy
In the tears that flow from the rivers in my soul
In those, lie the moments
The moments that spell out the tales of my life
The moments that make existence tangible
In them is time memorized; in then is life immortalised

Diluted and reinterpreted

My words are like a drop in the ocean of your thoughts
Diluted and reinterpreted buy the waters of you reasoning
For its true form will forever be missing
Its essence, forever interpreted
For in your heart, you posses understanding
And of this is your world comprehended
But such understanding doth bring its anxieties
That my words may flow thorough such filter
And my life, through such a window
Is a thing of both fear and excitement

Do not let your dark clouds of yesterday hurt us
Do not let your tears of yesterday drown me
For my words can get lost in them
Yes. They can spiral down in them, and forever be missing
Do not let your flames of yesterday, consume my heart for you
For rage can burn hot, and in its ferociousness, consume us all
Do not let yesterday, corrupt your view of my heart
For my heart is for you, pure
And the words I speak, are of its content; true
Sometimes naïve, sometimes restrained, but always true

May your eyes, rest on my heart
May they peer into my intentions
May your ears, listen to my words
And of the truth they posses, may they dwell
For our hearts are prone to misunderstanding
And its lenses tend to distort the beauties of today
They twist the sight of a rose and fill it with vile
That the heart may find reason to reject
That the heart may find reason to hate
To hate even the beautiful and innocent

This is learnt
This heart of ours, looks at yesterday
It dwells on the pain that ever so befell us
And of it, builds its fortress
That tomorrow may be kept at bay
That tomorrow’s heart, may be kept at bay